I think the only reason I made it that far is because I am stubborn. I was so convinced that I could finish the entire thing without stopping for a walk, but I finally got to the point where I was having trouble seeing, my heart was beating irregularly, I couldn't feel my feet or ankles, my stomach was behind my ears, and for no reason whatsoever, my body switched on 'bathroom' mode. I've never felt like that, and I never want to feel it again, I believe this is what real runners refer to as 'The Wall', and boy is it ever a wall! I was convinced that I was going to faint, and that I would be lucky if I didn't vomit before that point but alas, my body took mercy, and let me continue... slowly, and slightly surely.
I managed to walk at a snail's pace of an 18 minute mile for 1.2 miles, and finally found some energy that was gone previously. I started jogging like Rainman running for a bus, and battled to keep my eyes open knowing that there was only a couple of miles to go.
Let me tell you something, a mile is reallllllllllly long! I haven't ever seen a mile as long as each mile between 10 and 13. I hobbled back to a walking pace, almost unable to keep my legs in the air until I could finally see the finish line in all its glory nearly a mile away. I managed to put together a slow 12:30 minute mile pace back together trying to negotiate the plastic boarding leading to the end of what would be the toughest three hours of my life. With a last ditch effort and a helping hand from the few remaining stragglers near the finish I managed a sprint Donovan Baily would have been proud of to get my sorry Fat Kid arse across the finish. It took me a total of two hours, fifty-one minutes, and thirteen seconds to get from the middle of Edinburgh to the outskirts of a different county... something I never thought I could ever achieve, nor something I ever thought I would do.
To say I am relieved would be an understatement. I piled quite a bit of pressure onto myself with this feat, and as I have come to realise in the past few days I have actually done quite well to accomplish such a thing in less than six months. I will always wish that I managed to run the entire thing, or that I didn't feel like quitting after 10 miles, or that I had run in a few of my 'break periods' between the beginning of the year and now, but the truth of the matter is that I am really proud of this achievement, and would even go as far as to say that it's one of my greatest, if not the greatest acheivement in my short life.
The truth remains though that this self-inflicted mess was voluntary, and every sore joint and bout of sickness has paled in comparison to what hundreds of thousands of people deal with each year in Cancer treatment. The people who go through chemo don't do it by choice or to prove anything to themselves or anyone else. Those people are the heroes, and the class acts. No one gets to train for a series of chemo treatments, and Nike sure as hell doesn't sponsor the hospital gowns and patients don't choose to shave their heads for aerodynamics. That's something they have to deal with on a daily basis, and they have no real choice... the best case scenario is... they beat Cancer and live. It's to those people who I dedicate the run to, and to my Mum who had her own struggle and beat the big C. Three years cancer free... way to go Mum!
All in all, this was an amazing day. I have been in severe pain and misery since the finish with chaffing that would make the hardest of men squeamish, a blood blister on my toe that I got about a pint of fluid from when I drained it last night, neon nipples that are no longer my friends, and that doesn't include the muscle stiffness and joint pain that have taken over my over-aged body.
Would I do it again? If you'd have asked me that 48 hours ago, the answer would have been a stern 'NO!', but this running thing is kind of like a bug, once you catch it you can't shake it. I've done something great for myself, and for Maggie's, and look, I even got a wicked cool new t-shirt to show my appreciation!
With two races under my belt now, I think I will do some more training, and get myself down to a more reasonable weight, and potentially look at doing the same event next year, or who knows... we might even break out the full marathon!
This is by no means the end of my 'journey', and it's from here that I will be looking to build upon, and take forward some life lessons learned, and also some experiences that I will never forget. This will be something that I will look back on for many a year to come, and I can thank every person who has read his blog for their interest, support, and for those of you who are my favourites... the money you've donated to a damned fine charity!
I'm off to Egypt in a couple of weeks, and when I come back, it's time to map out the next step in putting truth into the saying 'Bye Bye Fat Kid'.
Thanks again to every one of you, and I look forward to seeing you for Round 2! TO leave you, here's a quick shot that Alicia took of me crossing the line. A massive and special thank you to the love of my life for being as wonderful and as supportive as she has been for this whole charade. If anyone has believed in me the whole time, it's been her. Thank you.
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